To: the Director of the Network
of Presbyterian Women in Leadership
Dear Becce Bettridge,
I am writing you in response to your remarkable essay
entitled: "Has Anyone Asked the Women? which I read on The Layman website.
Your article asked several excellent questions regarding
the role of women officers in the proposed New Wineskins-EPC churches.
I was impressed with your clarity in describing your
legitimate concerns that others may use their interpretations of the
Scriptures to deny you and other women equality and the opportunity to
serve in leadership positions.
Your language resonated with me deeply. Though your
article showed restraint and respect for others, I felt your surprise,
sense of betrayal and indignation in those questions.
It was completely evocative of inner experiences that I
have had.
Of course one can easily find Biblical passages which
prohibit the leadership of women and even command women to be silent.
But you are not silent. And you show strength in
addressing your concerns.
The Bible has always been used to uplift, but also,
unfortunately, to oppress. Racism, anti-Semitism, slavery, segregation and
the subjugation of women: all these things have been supported by people
using specific Biblical interpretations.
And all these things have been wrong.
In reading your Questions, I felt that I had rarely read
a more accurate, heartfelt and well-reasoned questioning of how it feels
to be on the Outside, to be Suspect, to be denied equality on the basis of
someone else’s interpretation of Scripture.
It is very understandable that you are fearful of your
future in a non-inclusive environment.
You recognize that your absence or presence in a new
church is a matter considered "non-essential" to others. You fear you may
be patronized or overlooked. Everyone will assume pastors will be male (or
should be).
This is not a good start.
On the other hand, being considered Suspect, Unworthy or
an Outsider for a while is a good, though painful way, to learn about the
daily experience of others and makes very personal and compelling the
teaching: "Do unto others..."
As an affirming parent of a gay son, I would say that
you captured the exact feelings of so many individuals I know whose
families are constantly being ignored or demeaned.
My eyes have been opened to the devastation wrecked by
endemic discrimination based on Scriptural interpretation and you have
captured this experience with your words. Your anger, indignation and
trepidation resonate with me.
I know that not everyone is blessed to have a gay child
or sibling. And it sometimes takes people years of struggle to understand.
But those of us who are blessed in this way can tell you that the
transformation that they experience is not one of policies and
organizations, but of spirit.
I have no doubt that gay people will eventually live in
full equality and I am very optimistic that the time will be sooner rather
than later.
The Network of Presbyterian Women in Leadership website
reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of homosexuality.
The mainstream scientific community clearly informs us
and our internal experience as heterosexuals confirms that sexual
orientation is an innate core part of our identity. To reject these
understandings in order to prop up an entrenched ideological bias against
a minority is regrettable. It leads only to alienation, frustration and
heartbreak for so many families and so many faith communities.
An unsettling question haunts me: How can someone, such
as yourself, feel and express such genuine, palpable, well-reasoned
concern for themselves regarding inequality, especially
inequality based on interpretation of Scripture, and not feel this
very same concern for others?
If, instead of the word "women", you had substituted all
minorities into your wonderful Questions, it would be a perfect essay….a
letter for all God’s people.
I continue to puzzle over this.
The irony is profound and startling to me. And I say
that as a woman.
Thank you for reading my letter and for the opportunity
to have this exchange.
Yours in Christ,
Karen Ellen Kavey
Chappaqua, New York
